Avoidance Blockers: Breaking the Cycle of Avoidant Behaviors
We avoid things for a reason. Sometimes we’re trying to escape uncomfortable emotions — boredom, anxiety, fear, pain, sadness. Other times we choose avoidance because something else feels more enjoyable, exciting, or soothing. Avoidance can temporarily relieve discomfort or give us a quick dopamine hit, making it feel like a smart idea in the moment.
But avoidance always comes at a cost.
A Personal Example
I grew up in Texas — hot, humid, sunny Texas — where rain meant a quick thunderstorm followed by more sunshine. When I moved to the Pacific Northwest in the summer of 2015, it felt like paradise. Cool temperatures, blue skies, and endless opportunities for biking, hiking, and weekend adventures.
Then November arrived.
The rain started, the temperatures hovered around 45°F, and my instinctive “Texas response” kicked in: wait it out. Surely it would pass in a week or two.
So I stopped riding my bike to work.
I stopped going on hikes.
I waited… and waited… and waited.
It didn’t stop raining until July.
What was I avoiding?
Primarily, the physical discomfort of being cold and wet.
What was the cost?
I drifted away from my values — being outdoors, being adventurous, exercising, connecting with nature. My mood worsened. I felt resentful toward the PNW and its “tricky” weather.
And beneath that, there was a more subtle layer of avoidance: I was anxious at the time, and sleeping in helped me avoid facing my worries. Riding my bike required waking up earlier, which meant more time alone with my thoughts. Driving my car was easier. Canceling plans was easier. Constantly checking the weather to find the “perfect” day was easier.
I became clever at avoiding discomfort…
but not any happier. Just exhausted.
Why Avoidance Makes Anxiety Worse
If you live with OCD or an anxiety disorder, you already know how tempting avoidance is. It offers quick relief in the short term, which strengthens the habit and reduces your tolerance for discomfort in the long run.
This is why simply telling ourselves to “stop avoiding” usually doesn’t work. Avoidance is a well-practiced behavior pattern, not a character flaw.
To break it, we need to understand it — and then block it.
How Do We Overcome Avoidance?
1. Understand the function of your avoidance.
What emotion are you trying to escape?
Anxiety? Boredom? Fear? Shame? Physical discomfort? A sense of incompetence?
2. Explore how the avoidance impacts your values.
How is it pulling you away from what matters most to you?
(If you missed it, see my previous post discussing Value Traps.)
3. Introduce Avoidance Blockers.
These are intentional strategies that make avoidance harder and push you closer to meaningful action — even when it’s uncomfortable. The goal isn’t to suffer through discomfort, but to give yourself the chance to learn that discomfort is tolerable and temporary.
My Avoidance Blocker
Using the three steps:
1. Identify the discomfort:
Being cold, wet, and physically uncomfortable.
2. Identify the value conflict:
I was losing my connection to outdoor activity and adventure, and that disconnection was fueling my depression and anxiety.
3. Block the avoidance:
I got rid of my car.
Drastic? Absolutely.
Effective? 100%.
It forced me to ride my bike every day — a 40-minute commute in rain, cold, and darkness.
My anxiety didn’t magically disappear, but riding gave me space to work through my worries instead of running from them. It became a daily opportunity to practice mindfulness, attention shifting, and tolerating discomfort. And once I got moving (with the right rain gear), I found the experience empowering.
Avoidance Blocker Ideas for Clients
• Accountability Buddy
Choose someone you don’t want to disappoint. The fear of letting them down often outweighs anxiety about the task.
• Commitment Contracts
Tell your friends to pick you up — no matter what — on the date you’ve committed to an activity. Bonus points if they ring the doorbell until you emerge!
• App or Phone Blocks
Your phone is one of the easiest avoidance tools.
Use an app to block games, social media, or other escape behaviors until a specific time of day or until you’ve completed your uncomfortable task.
• “Camera Alarm” Apps
Some alarms require you to take a photo of a specific object (like your neighbor’s cat) before they shut off. Surprisingly effective. It gets you out of bed if you are avoiding the day.
Get Creative
Avoidance blockers are meant to help you disrupt the automatic retreat from discomfort and step closer to your values. They don’t eliminate anxiety — they create the conditions for growth, tolerance, and resilience.
The list is endless. You can tailor blockers to your lifestyle, your values, and your unique avoidance patterns.
Ashley Wray, LPC, provides ERP therapy for OCD and anxiety disorders in North Texas, serving Sherman, Denison, Plano, Frisco, McKinney, Allen, and all of Texas via virtual sessions.
If you’ve noticed avoidance pulling you away from the life you want to live, you’re not alone.
I help clients reconnect with their values and build skills to navigate discomfort.
Reach out today to begin ERP therapy and create a path aligned with what matters most to you.
